Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
