i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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