have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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