i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
