weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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