he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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