all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
