Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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