I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
