I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
