Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The air taste purple.
Randomize
