Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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