He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
