If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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