I met the friendliest cop last night
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
