Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
