At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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