my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
