I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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