Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You may now shotgun with the bride
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
