I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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