i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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