I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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