whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
