Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
