If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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