You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
