out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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