Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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