Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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