I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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