It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Are we still banned from the library?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
