There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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