this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
