My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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