Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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