No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
