Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Terrible idea I love it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
