i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
