Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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