I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
