Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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