It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
