well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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