I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
