Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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