They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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