How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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