But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
