Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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