Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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